It feels like a lifetime already. I miss you. I miss talking to you… listening to you. I miss our banter… our laughs. You were my favorite pastime, my favorite preoccupation, my favorite distraction. My heart is heavy. My head feels about ready to implode. Who knew you wouldn’t be there to see the fifth? When will I hear you again… see you again? It breaks my heart that we are not together anymore. It breaks my heart that I made you leave. I miss you. I miss our bond. Who do I talk to? What do I do with all this time on my hands? I hope you know that you will always be my one but this is the cost of pleasing our Creator. I pray that He does what is best and reunites us. I’m sad. I’m sorry. I love you. We’ll be fine in sha Allah.
I still can’t get over how you’re not here anymore. I hope where you are now is better than what you left here. I miss you. I love you beyond words. I wish I had told you that more often. I wish I would have understood you better. You were excellent. You were perfect ma sha Allah. I wish I was by your side I wish I had never caused you a single moment of anger or displeasure. But they say if wishes were horses beggars would ride. They can be nothing but wishes. I didn’t and now I’m writing this with tears in my eyes. It comforts me though that you’re not in any more pain. I hope you’re not lonely… or worried. We miss you and we’re doing fine Alhamdulillah. Don’t worry. I know we’re told not to fear or despise Death because it is inevitable that every soul shall taste it but Death is not my friend. Death makes me sad and angry. I can only hope that Death did you a kindness and you’re at a much better place. I like to pretend I’m over your departure but I’m far from it. I miss you so much. I pray that “life” in Barzakh is nice to you… that you’re surrounded by light and space and have nothing to be afraid of. I pray that God forgives all your shortcomings and grants you Jannatul Firdaus. I pray He does the same for all the departed souls. I pray Allah reunites us in Jannah. Ameeeeen. I love you.